CyberStalking & CyberHarassment

We’ve all heard about it.  We’ve educated our kids about it.  But what happens when it’s adults doing the stalking and harassment.  Because it is ADULTS it is not called CyberBullying, but it make the bullied person feel the same as when it happens to kids. 

According to the law, I am not being CyberBullied because I’m an adult.  And I’m NOT being CyberHarassed because it’s one or more persons hiding behind a Facebook page.  They have also hidden the “members” who like this page, so it could be anyone. 

All of my readers, fans, and friends know that I enter a lot of contests.  In every contest I enter, there are people that try to get me disqualified and if I happen to not get disqualified, then the people who are bullying me will post something to the effect that I cheat.

I have not won any major prizes because every time I enter a contest people will lie about me and make up a story so that I will get disqualified.  Then the sponsor will automatically take their word for it because I have turned the other cheek and not participated in their bullying because I won’t answer them. 

I’m  determined to NOT let the people who are doing this WIN.  I WILL NOT CRAWL UNDER A ROCK OR QUIT THE CONTESTS.  I believe in the Golden Rule, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”  I leave them alone and let them WIN their contests without contacting the sponsor just to get them disqualified.  I don’t talk to them.  I don’t participate in “voting groups” on Facebook or otherwise.  Although, the people who would say that I’m cheating are the ones that have the voting groups like Bring on The Votes  and Golden Rule Voting   and then the PRIVATE groups, where it’s invite only like Legit V (which I don’t have a link for because I wasn’t invited.) 

My friends know that I send out emails weekly, and sometimes daily, to ask for votes.  AND, if a contest is important enough to me, I will call them and ask them to vote.  Most of the families, I only have to call one person to start the chain to help me with voting.  I have incredible support from my friends and family that I have won a few small contests.  Although my small support group is not big enough to go against the voting groups and actually win a contest, I keep trying. 

A lot of you guys, my fans and readers, know the reason that I do the contesting and you understand that reason.  For those who don’t know yet, my husband is a Disabled Iraq Veteran with a Traumatic Brain Injury and has been off of work for over a year.  In that year, I BARELY got the bills paid because I had managed to squeeze every last penny to the limit.  The items that I have won in the past year are THE ONLY LUXURY ITEMS THAT WE’VE HAD!!! ALSO, SOME OF THE PRIZES ARE THINGS THAT WERE NECESSITIES like a stroller because I wore our old stroller out walking the halls of the Houston VA Hospital every time my husband was critically ill. 

The funny thing about all this, is that these people are spineless, deviant, and so immature that they won’t even admit who they are, not that I don’t know, but they hide behind aliases and fake profiles. Not one person will stand forward and admit who they are and what they are doing like an adult.  Like cowards they log their attacks under fake names and profiles that get discarded as soon as they make the attack.  The whole time these people have me blocked and I have no idea what they’re doing until I am blindsided or someone else brings their actions to my attention. 

YES, at one time I had TEN profiles that were used to help these same spineless people win in different contests.  Those who I have helped win the contest immediately unfriended me and blocked me and then stole those profiles.  These profiles were validated with cell phone numbers at my expense and were “valid” at one time.  These profiles were then STOLEN from me by these very people who were SUPPOSED to be my friends.  They were able to steal these profiles because I trusted them and really thought they were my friends. 

At this time, I DO NOT have any fake profiles on Facebook.  Nor do I have friends that I do not know personally on some level.  Most are family or people I’ve met through my life. 

My jewelry business has suffered because of these attacks from the rumors and lies spread by these people.  My blog has been reported as spam on Facebook, so that I can’t even announce new posts.  I have not gotten any new sponsors for giveaways or reviews because of these attacks.  These unwarranted and unjustifiable constant personal attacks have disrupted my professional and personal life and have literally brought me to tears more often than I care to admit. This became a HUGE issue five months ago, and I have tried to cope with it and ignore it and turn the other cheek.   

It’s time to grow up.  If you’ve got a problem with me, show your face and state your name.  Tell me what you want to say.  Quit hiding and quit being childish, we are not on a playground and we are “supposedly” trying to set good examples for our children, but how can stalking, bullying, and harassment be good examples for the next generation.  Your actions and your statements are there for anyone to see.  Your behavior affects not only me, but anyone who pulls up the pages you defile.  When an adult is as vicious and petty as you all have become, any child or person who see that can be influenced by your actions.  Grow up, take responsibility and stop harming others.  It’s one thing to be petty and vindictive towards me, but you really cross the line when you bare it for the world. 

What is Luck?

What do you consider luck? According to the dictionary, luck is a force that brings good fortune OR adversity. It can be good or bad, but it's always luck. There are those that will say "I don't believe in Luck" or "I don't believe in fate", but it is there. Is it luck that a friend of mine, who usually curses road construction, was saved by it because it prevented a horrible crash? Is it luck that led me to meet my husband over 20 years ago, when I was just a teenager?

And what about the lucky "signs" or "charms" or even rituals that people have? They say that some people are luckier than others...I say it's how you personally view life.

The day that Monster was born, everyone was telling me how lucky I was that I had gone to the doctor that day, because if not, he probably would have been stillborn. I had an ultrasound with the high risk doctor that came up from Houston, and I had my normal ultrasound the next day. The pregnancy was mostly uneventful, though I had to be monitored closely because of the seizures I had and also because of the severe asthma I had. I almost didn't go to the ultrasound that morning. I figured "everything has been normal and the doctors are making a fuss out of nothing."

So, very reluctantly I went to the ultrasound even though I was horribly tired. As "luck" would have it, the doctor was running late because of traffic. The ultrasound tech didn't want to keep me waiting too long, and (in my guess) she was fairly new, because she was just "messing around" and looking at different measurements. I was joking with her almost the whole time. There was another tech that was with her, and they were talking about the way you could identify a baby with club foot (I freaked out at that one!) and other abnormalities. Since I am medically trained also, I knew that if she didn't learn about it on the job, it would be hard for her to know what she was looking at, so I was joking with them, and talking with them the whole time.

Then, when the doctor did finally get there, an hour later, the technician met her in the hallway. Nothing new to me, it's called "report". So, the doctor came in, and started the ultrasound, and then she was saying she agreed with the technician, and turned to me and said, "it's baby time, you need to go to the hospital now and they will either fly you to Houston or take you by ambulance." I FREAKED OUT AND STARTED CRYING...it was two months early!!! I asked her if I had time to go home and tell my husband and get some things, and she said "yes, but don't take too long, they will be expecting you at the hospital soon."

Needless to say, I got to the hospital and was there for thirty minutes, and was transferred to a hospital in Houston by LifeFlight. Monster was born later that day, at 5:36PM, by emergency c-section. Because, I was "lucky" and went to the ultrasound that morning, he was only in the NICU for two weeks. Had I skipped that appointment, things would have turned out differently.

Was it "luck" that the doctor and the technician saw the problems? Was it luck that I went to this appointment that I wanted to skip? Was it luck that the weather was good enough for the LifeFlight? Was it luck that my husband made it to the hospital, with literally 30 seconds to spare before Monster was born? Was it luck that Monster was relatively healthy at birth?

My answer to all those questions is YES! I'm an incredibly lucky woman! Many, many years ago, I had a miscarriage on May 5, but on May 5 Monster was born. I believe it was "luck" on both occasions. Even if some people see something as "bad" luck, it's still "luck" and it happens every day, right in front of our eyes. You don't even need to look that hard...Luck is all around you! Embrace it!

I wrote this blog post while participating in the Bookieboo and "Earthies Wants You to Feel Lucky" blogging program, making me eligible to win a pair of Earthies shoes and American Express Gift Cards. For more information on how you can participate, click here.

Please Parents: Pay Attention and think of your kids!

I know this is a weird title for a blog post, and I apologize in advance for some of the language that may pop out of my mouth. But in light of the tragedy that has happened to my oldest friend, and other events this week...I feel something needs to be said to the parents. So, again, please let me rant, and if this saves just one life in the future, then it's worth it.

On Tuesday, I received word that my friend lost her brother and her nephew. Tomorrow she has to bury them, alone...or what feels alone because her family CAN'T GROW UP ENOUGH TO NOT FIGHT FOR A FUNERAL!!!

A little history here. My friend was there for me the day I went to school after my parents went to their FIRST court hearing for the divorce. She was there to comfort me and give me a hug during one of the crappiest times of my childhood...and I've had a lot. She is my oldest friend. She has seen what my family put me and my siblings through. Now, fast forward about 24 years to last year.

Her brother is divorcing his wife, and they have two kids. One is special needs, and one is now dead...along with the father. You see, the parents just went through a very nasty divorce, and of course, the children were put in the middle of it.

I know during a divorce it can get nasty, and all you want to do is hurt the other party. But, seriously folks...if there are children involved GROW UP AND ACT LIKE ADULTS!!!!! My parents are not in my life for a reason, they never learned to act like adults and I don't want my son to see that. I gave up my son 12 years ago to his father because I saw that his father was not going to grow up and quit fighting, and there have been several people that have called me a bad mother for it...but I made what I thought was the best decision for my son and I didn't want him to see what I grew up with.

Back to my very dear friend. She got word this week, and flew across the US to bury her brother and nephew because of a murder/suicide. You see, her nephew begged to go live with her, the parents were not grown up enough at the time to see what was best for him. His father said he would raise his son as he sees fit. And now, the son killed his father, and then himself. We will never know what happened in that house. All I know is that my very dear friend is hurting and I can't be there because of my financial situation.

Now you would think that as a father and son are to be buried, that the funerals would be together. But NOOOOO...the sons mother still wants to hurt the family. There is going to be the funeral for the father, then to the cemetery, then back to the funeral home and back to the cemetery for the son. She didn't even list my friend as surviving family in the flyer that gets passed out.

I understand anonymousity , I understand hate. I've felt it. I felt it when I lost Emily. I feel it every day when I think of all that I am missing watching her grow up. I don't even know what she sounds like or what her favorite color is...because the Carter's still want to hurt me. But ultimately it's not me they're hurting...it's Emily. When a mutual friend convinced my son PJ to talk to me, one of the first phrases out of his mouth was, "you're nothing like dad said you were."

Do you really think that by blaming things on the children and fighting over them, that it's best for them??? Do you really think that keeping the children with either parent at a time like that is healthy for the children??

I DON'T THINK SO!!!

This is why I ended up with a foster mother when I was 15...I had begged enough and run away often enough that my parents finally gave up, and in my opinion...I'm halfway decent because of it.

If one thing can come out of this tragedy, hopefully it's to prevent another tragedy down the line. Parents, if you ever get divorced, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE THINK OF YOUR CHILDREN. If you and your soon-to-be-ex-spouse can't stop fighting long enough to get divorced in a halfway civil way, let your children go stay with a relative. It will be better in the long run and hopefully you won't end up like my friends brother and nephew. Hopefully, you will survive. Don't make a child feel so hopeless that the only way they can see to stop the hurt is to kill you and then themselves...because it hurts more to bury family than it does to let a child live with a relative or close friend.

Trust me...I've seen it. That's why my friend and I get along so well and why we can cry on each others shoulders. We've both got family that refuse to act mature and think of others...all they want is to feel that victory of hurting the other person so much. Well...Yeah...you got the victory...you hurt the other person so much that you also hurt your own son and the only way he saw to get out of it was to die.

THINK ABOUT IT!! IS IT REALLY WORTH ALL THE FIGHTING?

Please, pray for peace for my friend, that has to go to two different funerals tomorrow because the family can't stop fighting, even in the middle of this horrible thing that has happened. Pray for all the families that are going through this, because IT HAS TO STOP SOMETIME!

P.S. I did forget two things.  To the American Red Cross, that had my friends ticket waiting for her at the airport within 3 hours...THANK YOU! For seeing that she got home.
And to the passenger that got bumped from the flight so that she could get on it...I hope you understand and I'm sorry for the delay...but she needed to get home!