Monday, February 14, 2011

It's Valentine's Day

I want to say Happy Valentine's Day to everyone out there. This is a bittersweet day for me. For many, many years I was alone and watched other people in love. Now, I have the love of my life and I'm happy, even with all the trials and tribulations that we go through. But, this of all days, brings back memories of others in my life. Some good, most bad. There are memories of very good friends that have passed and memories of love lost.

What surprises me is I had a dream about one of those lost loves yesterday. No, nothing like that (shame on you). More like; forgiveness. Because in my life I've made mistakes, and sometimes they were big mistakes. And it wasn't even with my ex-bf it was his mom that forgave me.

And today I think of my ex-husband. He just fought cancer, and his house burned down last year. Even though we divorced, I still care about him because he is the father of my son. But today, of all days, I think about the time when I left him and the turmoil I went through. I left him because of domestic violence. When you leave under those circumstances, there is always that part of you that wants to go back and hope things will change, and then there's the other part that knows things won't change. I went through that for a year, I fought those feelings.

So, today is bittersweet. Today, I'm madly in love! Today, I will remember the past, but I will focus on the present. Every moment with DH is precious. I almost lost him last year, and it took over 20 years for us to be together. We don't take anything for granted and every day is a gift.
So, today...HUG your Valentine! HUG your children! And, focus on the present!

P.S. Happy Valentine's Day to the eternal couple in my life...Manessa and Kelsey, I really miss you guys!