Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Spouses Guide: How to survive while your spouse is at a Social Media Conference

I know that there are many self sufficient spouses that are married to people active in social media. But, for those that aren’t quite self sufficient here is a survival guide on how to get through one day while the significant other is at a social media conference.
First off, we spouses that go to these conferences are aware that you need help…that’s why we send the neighbor over every day to check on you!!!
In preparation for the conference, we make extra meals and freeze them, though we know that you will just go out to eat. We make sure there are clean clothes, even if it makes laundry day sooner. We make sure the day care is paid for so that all you have to do is drop little one off. So, here’s what to do from the start of the normal day without the spouse who usually runs the house.
You set your alarm, though you also have the poor spouse call at the time it goes off even though they don’t have to be awake for several hours. We call several times until you actually wake up and ANSWER THE PHONE!
Next, there is a big box type thing usually at the end of the bed, sometimes beside the bed, it’s called a dresser and it holds clothes. Go to the top drawer on the right. That’s the underwear drawer and you will find plenty of clean underwear there. Then right under that is the sock drawer, again…clean socks. Next you need to get dressed and you usually know where the jeans and shirts are, but just in case, they’re hung up in the closet.
Next, you need to go make your coffee. Now, like most spouses, you need coffee to wake up. So you need to head to the kitchen and get the coffee made. While the coffee is brewing you need to take care of the morning hygiene. That way you can drink coffee while doing the rest of the things you need to get done before you leave for the day.

After you drink your first cup of coffee, you should get the little one’s stuff ready for day care. You will need to pack some bottles for the day, an extra outfit, and formula/milk. Once you have the diaper bag packed, put it in the car BEFORE you wake little one up. Next, you should get your stuff ready to go, whether it’s your backpack for school or stuff for your job. It’s always good to get this packed and in the care BEFORE little one even enters the picture for the day.

Then, it’s time to wake little one up…but first, you have to make a bottle for little one so that it’s ready for crabby little one. Don’t take it in with you when you wake them up, instead, have it in the living room for after you change the diaper. Now, gently wake little one up. This can be accomplished usually by just picking them up and holding them to you. Little one will be wet from diaper overnight, so you need to change the diaper immediately. Then you need to get little one dressed. Again, spouse has made sure that there are clean clothes and you should choose an outfit for the day.
Don’t worry about feeding little one, the day care takes care of breakfast, lunch and snacks. You just need to remember where the daycare is. Take little one to the day care. Yes, they’re expecting him, and yes, we’ve taken care of everything in advance.
Now, you’re ready to go face your day. You should know what to do when you get to work/school. Now, daycare is paid up until 6PM so you have time for a nap after school also.
Now, if by some unlucky chance you need to make a doctors appointment while we’re gone, here’s what you need to do. By now, you know how to operate a phone. Go to the contacts list and look for the name of the doctor, we’ve programmed it in just for you, yes we’re sneaky!!! Call the doctor and identify yourself. Don’t worry, we’ve called the doctors office before we left also and they know that you may be calling. Tell the secretary that you need to come in/bring little one in. Then they will ask you what’s going on and you should tell them exactly what’s going on, like little one has a fever, or you need an adjustment on your back, etc. They will then ask you if you can come in at a certain time, and usually, they can make it when you are available to come in, or the next day. If you are unable to manage this, just text us, and we can make the appointment for you real quick and we will text you the time to be there.
For the next day/days, you should repeat these instructions. This is step by step so that you will know what to do each day that the spouse is gone. When we get back, we are aware that there will be a bunch of stuff to take care of. If we’re lucky, we only have a house to clean when we get home. If we’re unlucky, we have other minor emergencies to tend to when we get home.

**Note: this is based on some of what happened to me this past week, though some of it can be fiction…and some of it is learned for the next conference I go to.**