Happy New Year!

As we welcome in a New Year, I want to reflect on this past year.  

There have been times when I thought I couldn't go on, and there are times when I was so full of hope that it was overflowing.  There are different reasons to celebrate a new year. It could be because you have dreams for the upcoming year, or you want a horrible year to be in the past.  Or both.

In the past year I've done several things and had several things happen to me:

I fought my apartments about Fair Housing and got evicted.

I survived an assault from my ex husband which left me with an incomplete SCI.

I was recognized as "Senator of the Year" for Student Government Association.

I found a new place to live, and had to move from there because of the ex.

I finally got back on track as far as school.

I've learned to walk with AFO's...it's kinda interesting.

I was nominated as Sergeant at Arms of Student Government Association.

I've learned a lot this past year, and I still have a lot of learning to do.  This life is constantly changing and I'm constantly changing with it.  I've said goodbye to my marriage, and I've accepted the fact that I'm single again.  There's always room for improvement and there's always goals.  So, with that being said, here are a couple of resolutions for 2017:

1.  Get a job.

2.  Keep an apartment.

3.  Win at least one tournament in Magic.

4.  Get my Level I judge for Magic.

5.  Get Certified Student Leader endorsements.

6.  Get all three levels of CMAP.

7.  Try to repair broken relationships, and make ammends to those I have wronged.

8.  Continue rebuilding my life.

These may seem like stupid goals to some, but to me, it's showing that my life is going on, that I"m not letting HIM hold me back, that I can perservere even though my life is changed.  

How Do You Say GoodBye?

If you had a friend that was more than family, more than your sister...how do you say goodbye?

How do you say, "I miss you" or "I still need you"?

You see, that magic word wasn't said.  Can it be taken back if it wasn't said?  

Can you uncry those tears?  Can you undo the wrongs?  Can you erase that look of hurt?

For three days I've done nothing but cry...does it matter to you?  Do you care?  

Can we go back?  I know I can be mean.  I know I can say things that hurt, but I held back because I didn't want to say things that couldn't be unsaid.  Is it possible to hold on to hope?  Is it possible to repair a broken heart?  Is it possible to unbleed from the soul?  I keep my mind busy in hopes that my heart can't think and that doesn't work.  I keep occupied, but everywhere I look there's traces of you.  The phone goes unanswered, the email unopened, the heart is still broken.  

All of the pieces are here, but can they be put back together again.  

The rubber ball is still bouncing, it can bounce back...I hope.

 

If you're reading this, CLICK HERE so see a video.

I still love you...