What is Luck?

What do you consider luck? According to the dictionary, luck is a force that brings good fortune OR adversity. It can be good or bad, but it's always luck. There are those that will say "I don't believe in Luck" or "I don't believe in fate", but it is there. Is it luck that a friend of mine, who usually curses road construction, was saved by it because it prevented a horrible crash? Is it luck that led me to meet my husband over 20 years ago, when I was just a teenager?

And what about the lucky "signs" or "charms" or even rituals that people have? They say that some people are luckier than others...I say it's how you personally view life.

The day that Monster was born, everyone was telling me how lucky I was that I had gone to the doctor that day, because if not, he probably would have been stillborn. I had an ultrasound with the high risk doctor that came up from Houston, and I had my normal ultrasound the next day. The pregnancy was mostly uneventful, though I had to be monitored closely because of the seizures I had and also because of the severe asthma I had. I almost didn't go to the ultrasound that morning. I figured "everything has been normal and the doctors are making a fuss out of nothing."

So, very reluctantly I went to the ultrasound even though I was horribly tired. As "luck" would have it, the doctor was running late because of traffic. The ultrasound tech didn't want to keep me waiting too long, and (in my guess) she was fairly new, because she was just "messing around" and looking at different measurements. I was joking with her almost the whole time. There was another tech that was with her, and they were talking about the way you could identify a baby with club foot (I freaked out at that one!) and other abnormalities. Since I am medically trained also, I knew that if she didn't learn about it on the job, it would be hard for her to know what she was looking at, so I was joking with them, and talking with them the whole time.

Then, when the doctor did finally get there, an hour later, the technician met her in the hallway. Nothing new to me, it's called "report". So, the doctor came in, and started the ultrasound, and then she was saying she agreed with the technician, and turned to me and said, "it's baby time, you need to go to the hospital now and they will either fly you to Houston or take you by ambulance." I FREAKED OUT AND STARTED CRYING...it was two months early!!! I asked her if I had time to go home and tell my husband and get some things, and she said "yes, but don't take too long, they will be expecting you at the hospital soon."

Needless to say, I got to the hospital and was there for thirty minutes, and was transferred to a hospital in Houston by LifeFlight. Monster was born later that day, at 5:36PM, by emergency c-section. Because, I was "lucky" and went to the ultrasound that morning, he was only in the NICU for two weeks. Had I skipped that appointment, things would have turned out differently.

Was it "luck" that the doctor and the technician saw the problems? Was it luck that I went to this appointment that I wanted to skip? Was it luck that the weather was good enough for the LifeFlight? Was it luck that my husband made it to the hospital, with literally 30 seconds to spare before Monster was born? Was it luck that Monster was relatively healthy at birth?

My answer to all those questions is YES! I'm an incredibly lucky woman! Many, many years ago, I had a miscarriage on May 5, but on May 5 Monster was born. I believe it was "luck" on both occasions. Even if some people see something as "bad" luck, it's still "luck" and it happens every day, right in front of our eyes. You don't even need to look that hard...Luck is all around you! Embrace it!

I wrote this blog post while participating in the Bookieboo and "Earthies Wants You to Feel Lucky" blogging program, making me eligible to win a pair of Earthies shoes and American Express Gift Cards. For more information on how you can participate, click here.

Eats Paste CD Review and Giveaway

I got a chance to review a GREAT album for Monster. Since he was a little Monster, we realized he had an affinity for music and I've wanted to expose him to all different kinds of music.

So what is Eats Paste you ask? Well...it is an album put out by Toy Block Music, which is a project that is "dedicated to the idea that children understand, and deserve real music done by great musicians." So what does this mean to us? Great music that even this mommy was singing to. It's not the normal everyday songs sung with normal tunes. This is the music that kids LOVE with a twist! There's Pop and Funk mixed into the children's songs.

When I first played this for Monster he was quite intrigued and didn't know what to make of all the different kinds of music. But the second time we listened to it, he did his little imitation of singing (because he doesn't talk yet, he hums). So, this has been added to Monster's MP3 player for him to listen to at night and when he's down for naps. We also listen to it when we play outside on his swing set. I never miss a chance to expose him to music.

What is unique about Toy Block Music is that a portion of their proceeds go to PAGER (Pediatric/Adolescent Gastroesophageal Reflux Association) which is a non-profit association that has been providing information AND support to parents and children with acid reflux and related disorders since 1992. (cited PAGER website)

So, what can you look for on this CD. Well, I'm sure you've heard "Wheels On The Bus", you've probably sang it to your own child/ren. But, I can guarantee you haven't heard it like this. It's got a funky beat, and it makes Monster dance around EVERY TIME we listen to it. I will let you explore for the rest of the songs!

So, where can you get this wonderful album? Well, you can purchase it from Toy Block Music for $5.99 which is a great price! But, four readers of my blog are in for a treat because Toy Block Music is giving away 1 full length LP (digitally) and 3 single songs (digitally). So, that's FOUR winners here!

Now is the part where I tell you how to enter:

Mandatory Entry: Go to Toy Block Music and tell me why they donate a portion of their proceeds to PAGER. (one entry)

Extra Entries:

Follow me via Google Friend Connect (two entries)

"Like" Toy Block Music on FB and if you want, you can leave a little note saying Hi from us (one entry)

Follow Toy Block Music on twitter (one entry)

"Like" TheMarciFactor on FB (one entry)

Sign up for email via feedburner (two entries)

Tweet once per day "Win a copy of Eats Paste from @TheMarciFactor and @ToyBlockMusic until 3/21 http://bit.ly/dUvQnQ" (one entry)

**You must leave contact information (either twitter name or email in name at domain dot com form).

It's Valentine's Day

I want to say Happy Valentine's Day to everyone out there. This is a bittersweet day for me. For many, many years I was alone and watched other people in love. Now, I have the love of my life and I'm happy, even with all the trials and tribulations that we go through. But, this of all days, brings back memories of others in my life. Some good, most bad. There are memories of very good friends that have passed and memories of love lost.

 

What surprises me is I had a dream about one of those lost loves yesterday. No, nothing like that (shame on you). More like; forgiveness. Because in my life I've made mistakes, and sometimes they were big mistakes. And it wasn't even with my ex-bf it was his mom that forgave me.

And today I think of my ex-husband. He just fought cancer, and his house burned down last year. Even though we divorced, I still care about him because he is the father of my son. But today, of all days, I think about the time when I left him and the turmoil I went through. I left him because of domestic violence. When you leave under those circumstances, there is always that part of you that wants to go back and hope things will change, and then there's the other part that knows things won't change. I went through that for a year, I fought those feelings.

 

So, today is bittersweet. Today, I'm madly in love! Today, I will remember the past, but I will focus on the present. Every moment with DH is precious. I almost lost him last year, and it took over 20 years for us to be together. We don't take anything for granted and every day is a gift.

So, today...HUG your Valentine! HUG your children! And, focus on the present!

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!!!

P.S. Happy Valentine's Day to the eternal couple in my life...Manessa and Kelsey, I really miss you guys!

Please Parents: Pay Attention and think of your kids!

I know this is a weird title for a blog post, and I apologize in advance for some of the language that may pop out of my mouth. But in light of the tragedy that has happened to my oldest friend, and other events this week...I feel something needs to be said to the parents. So, again, please let me rant, and if this saves just one life in the future, then it's worth it.

On Tuesday, I received word that my friend lost her brother and her nephew. Tomorrow she has to bury them, alone...or what feels alone because her family CAN'T GROW UP ENOUGH TO NOT FIGHT FOR A FUNERAL!!!

A little history here. My friend was there for me the day I went to school after my parents went to their FIRST court hearing for the divorce. She was there to comfort me and give me a hug during one of the crappiest times of my childhood...and I've had a lot. She is my oldest friend. She has seen what my family put me and my siblings through. Now, fast forward about 24 years to last year.

Her brother is divorcing his wife, and they have two kids. One is special needs, and one is now dead...along with the father. You see, the parents just went through a very nasty divorce, and of course, the children were put in the middle of it.

I know during a divorce it can get nasty, and all you want to do is hurt the other party. But, seriously folks...if there are children involved GROW UP AND ACT LIKE ADULTS!!!!! My parents are not in my life for a reason, they never learned to act like adults and I don't want my son to see that. I gave up my son 12 years ago to his father because I saw that his father was not going to grow up and quit fighting, and there have been several people that have called me a bad mother for it...but I made what I thought was the best decision for my son and I didn't want him to see what I grew up with.

Back to my very dear friend. She got word this week, and flew across the US to bury her brother and nephew because of a murder/suicide. You see, her nephew begged to go live with her, the parents were not grown up enough at the time to see what was best for him. His father said he would raise his son as he sees fit. And now, the son killed his father, and then himself. We will never know what happened in that house. All I know is that my very dear friend is hurting and I can't be there because of my financial situation.

Now you would think that as a father and son are to be buried, that the funerals would be together. But NOOOOO...the sons mother still wants to hurt the family. There is going to be the funeral for the father, then to the cemetery, then back to the funeral home and back to the cemetery for the son. She didn't even list my friend as surviving family in the flyer that gets passed out.

I understand anonymousity , I understand hate. I've felt it. I felt it when I lost Emily. I feel it every day when I think of all that I am missing watching her grow up. I don't even know what she sounds like or what her favorite color is...because the Carter's still want to hurt me. But ultimately it's not me they're hurting...it's Emily. When a mutual friend convinced my son PJ to talk to me, one of the first phrases out of his mouth was, "you're nothing like dad said you were."

Do you really think that by blaming things on the children and fighting over them, that it's best for them??? Do you really think that keeping the children with either parent at a time like that is healthy for the children??

I DON'T THINK SO!!!

This is why I ended up with a foster mother when I was 15...I had begged enough and run away often enough that my parents finally gave up, and in my opinion...I'm halfway decent because of it.

If one thing can come out of this tragedy, hopefully it's to prevent another tragedy down the line. Parents, if you ever get divorced, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE THINK OF YOUR CHILDREN. If you and your soon-to-be-ex-spouse can't stop fighting long enough to get divorced in a halfway civil way, let your children go stay with a relative. It will be better in the long run and hopefully you won't end up like my friends brother and nephew. Hopefully, you will survive. Don't make a child feel so hopeless that the only way they can see to stop the hurt is to kill you and then themselves...because it hurts more to bury family than it does to let a child live with a relative or close friend.

Trust me...I've seen it. That's why my friend and I get along so well and why we can cry on each others shoulders. We've both got family that refuse to act mature and think of others...all they want is to feel that victory of hurting the other person so much. Well...Yeah...you got the victory...you hurt the other person so much that you also hurt your own son and the only way he saw to get out of it was to die.

THINK ABOUT IT!! IS IT REALLY WORTH ALL THE FIGHTING?

Please, pray for peace for my friend, that has to go to two different funerals tomorrow because the family can't stop fighting, even in the middle of this horrible thing that has happened. Pray for all the families that are going through this, because IT HAS TO STOP SOMETIME!

P.S. I did forget two things.  To the American Red Cross, that had my friends ticket waiting for her at the airport within 3 hours...THANK YOU! For seeing that she got home.
And to the passenger that got bumped from the flight so that she could get on it...I hope you understand and I'm sorry for the delay...but she needed to get home!